My Relationship With the Media

     I have an unhealthy relationship with the media. It displays all the “red flags” that signify that I should end it; it constantly needs to know where I am, what I’m doing, and who I’m with; it seems to be obsessed with me, constantly alerting me whenever something remotely interesting happens; and it has a significant amount of control over my life, dictating whether or not I will be able to finish an assignment on time and telling me whether whatever I post is socially acceptable. The smart thing to do in this situation is to end this relationship, but I face a dilemma: I am just as obsessed with the media as the media is obsessed with me. I feel that its constant surveillance of my activities is necessary for me to connect with my friends, that its frequent reminders of my dependance upon it help me to stay up to date on the most recent events, and that its control over my life is not as serious as the reality of the situation. I spend multiple hours a day on social media alone, although I never use it to do anything productive. I find that watching videos of cats or obscure movies is more entertaining than writing a research paper, so I allow the media to take up the better hours of my day. On social medias like Instagram and Snapchat, I feel the need to post something but when I do, I always regret it because it may not get enough likes. I do nothing worthwhile online, yet it is there that I spend most of my time. I find that the media is far more interesting than any paper I could write or studying I could be doing, so I choose to stare mindlessly at the screen as someone I do not know cooks food I could not even attempt to make or walks me through a tutorial that I know I will never use or see again as my schoolwork remains unfinished, looming as a constant reminder of my lack of motivation and productivity. I often think about distancing myself from such a draining relationship by deleting my Instagram, but I always end up deciding to keep it in order to see what others post, contributing to their addictions to social media simply by clicking the “like” icon. I have had my Instagram since the seventh grade, forming a relationship with it too strong for me to simply delete and forget. I no longer use it to communicate with others; I use it only to look at accounts of people I will never meet.
     While being in HISP has increased the amount of news articles I read per week, I spend the majority of my online time attempting to think as little as possible rather than educating myself. My relationship with the non-social side of the media is the opposite of that of mine with social media; I do not obsess over current events and the news does nothing to attempt to pull me into reading it. Social media has caused me to pay attention only to what I find the most interesting and entertaining rather than what will benefit me in the long run. This altered way of thinking has affected my overall productivity and my relationships with others as well as myself. My relationship with the media controls my life to a larger extent than I would prefer to admit, and it has become an undeniable component of my personality.